Not Enough, Not Yet

A messenger window was open on his screen. He had been sending her messages for an hour. There was no response from her. He remembered the expression on her face when he saw her in the morning. Blank. He could sense some tension, her mind was onto something. He had wanted to ask her what it was, but he had left her alone. Now he wished he had asked her.

Perhaps she was not at her seat. Perhaps she was in some call, or maybe in some meeting. Or she might have walked out to have a coffee. He tried to slow down the thoughts racing in his mind. He was trying to figure out where she might have gone or what might have happened. He always liked to know what was happening. Being unaware disturbed him. She had advised him to change. He tried, but after a while gave up and decided to leave it as it was. He was comfortable with it.

The music was flowing into his ears from his iPod. He was hearing one of her favourite songs, which was close to his heart too. He was worried, though. It had been some time since she messaged. Maybe he should check on her at her seat. If she was not replying even after so many messages, then she might not be alright. That was what he was thinking as he started down the steps from the seventh floor. He had to reach the ground floor and walk to a corner to be at her desk. One could see the greenery outside from there. It was always lovely to stand there and sip a hot of steaming hot coffee, watching the rain. He smiled at that thought.

The system was locked. She was not at her seat. Her bag and other belongings were there. Her phone was not to be seen anywhere. He took her extension and dialed her cell phone. It was ringing but there was no answer. He dialed thrice but there was still no answer. Her teammates didn’t know where she had gone. He was walking back when one of the security staff told him that she had walked out talking on the phone with some papers in her hand. He was puzzled. What papers did she have in her hand?

Again, why was he getting so worked up about it?

***                        ***                        ***

She was walking fast towards the metro station. She had to catch a train as soon as possible. She was already late for her appointment. The papers she clutched close to her would decide something this day. This was not her first meeting. Every time she read the papers, it presented a different picture to her. She was apprehensive about what was coming. She saw three missed calls in her cell. That too, from her desk. He must have been there. She switched off her phone and put it in her bag. It was not the right time to talk. He would see through her excuses.

***                        ***                        ***

It was a very quiet ride back home. She had anticipated a barrage of questions and an emotional outburst. But the way he behaved was not even remotely close. He chose to remain silent and cold, just like the way she would have responded. The silence spilled into the living room, and slowly crept into the kitchen too. This was too much for her. Then it happened. She spilled coffee onto the table, and what ensued was a riot of fury. He was in a fit of rage, and she soaked in the shouts, taunts and emotions. Finally she heaved a sigh of relief. Nothing was broken, everything inside the room was in the same place and his anger had subsided. After a relatively silent dinner and an apology, he went to sleep. She was familiar with this routine. She slowly entered his library room. With trembling fingers she placed the envelope and a note on his desk.

***                        ***                        ***

He woke up late. She would have reached office already. He messaged her that he would be on leave, and proceeded to inform his manager too. With a cup of coffee in hand, he went into his library. It housed a decent collection of books, two desks, writing pads and a bin full of crushed paper. The ones he had discarded. She used to say he was too critical of his own work, and that his expectations from himself were too high. She pushed him to meet a publisher and bring out his book; not once, but many times. He was afraid of rejection. He had kept the papers safe in his vault, and it would remain there.

The envelope stood out on the table; pristine white, with a few letters in red. It read, “I’ve had enough”. He was always fond of her handwriting. The letters looked beautiful, but the words made him apprehensive. His rage always drove her to a corner, and he was apprehensive that she might have had enough. His heart raced as he opened the envelope, expecting the worst. Inside it was another envelope. With the symbol of a flying bird. His heart skipped a beat. She had played it around him. Inside the envelope there was a signed letter from the Editor-In-Chief of Falcon Inc. expressing the publisher’s interest in bringing out his book.

***                        ***                        ***

He was not there when she came back from office. The white envelope was on the table. The letters in red that she had written were intact. She turned the envelope slowly to read the words scribbled in blue- “Thank You”.

And in smaller letters – “Not enough, Not yet”.

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Double Trouble

That is about the headache which made me skip a day. Second day on the trot and I couldn’t keep myself up with the buzz.

Day #67 – Six & Seven – Cricket & Biscuits…

63 for 6…the scoreboard depicted a bleak picture when I had a look at the India v/s England test match yesterday. Though it was disappointing to see our team on the back foot, it was certainly heartening to see bowlers have the edge. It has been quite some time since sixes and fours started calling the shots in the gentleman’s game, and the batsmen were having a not so gentle time with the bowlers. Ever since the number of runs scored became the benchmark for the entertainment value of the game, it has been heavily loaded in favour of the batsmen. For a change, it felt good to see the bowlers have a ball.

As for the biscuits, they are a constant presence. Krackjack, Monaco, Parle-G, Arrowroot. The favourites have changed with the times but their charm remains. Any day, any time – some hot tea, a pack of biscuits. Well, double it up, make it two. It is always better to have some backup while watching movies or sports.

Dshhh Dsshhh Dsshhhhhh…

Something fizzing out inside my head…

Day #5

I can almost hear the sound of crackers within my head as Day 5 ends up with a headache. This does happen once in a while and it keeps me on my toes. Leaves me with a bad feeling and an even worse temper. My mood could swing between extremes. It could be extremely light for a moment and even I wouldn’t have a clue where it would be the next moment. I did too much of work for the day, probably. It feels as though Armaggedon and Expendables are being screened within the multiplex there. Well, that is a battery-low indication! Time to wind up and go to sleep 🙂

Let There Be Rain

As if it would rain when we proclaim…I wish it were like that…like we see in movies where a swish of the wand is all that is needed…

Day #4

The early morning rains are an excuse to squeeze in few more minutes of sleep…Every time the alarm rings, gratitude is expressed by touching the snooze button…as if the alarm needs to be consoled for crying out to wake us up…

The curtains in my room have been taken off for their periodic water service…and the open windows let in the light as well as the cold morning air…the morning rains are a treat to watch through the windows…the little drops falling off leaves, trickling down to the next set of leaves, and slowly being escorted to the ground beneath…little twinkling drops, the pearls that sustain our existence…

HM_6

Looking out of the window, I could see the red hibiscus flowers swaying in the breeze, dancing with the raindrops…Nature just seemed to enjoy bringing another day to us…

Gaata Rahe Mera Dil

An obligatory introduction for that heading can take a back seat , I guess…

Day #3

The moment of the day was sponsored by Google…

Today morning after booting my system in office, I was slowly settling into the usual routine…Google is high up there among the favourite links, and out of habit I made a visit to the site…and it gave me goosebumps with the below doodle…

Kishore Da…he would have been 85 today…thanks to Google for the pleasant smile…and for bringing back an assortment of memories…and the first encounter with his voice is still fresh, like it happened yesterday…

It goes a long way back…to my primary school days when we were tenants in a housing colony nearby our current residence…it was the video of the song caught my eye initially – Amitabh Bachchan dancing with an array of decorative lights on his body…made more vivid by Dad’s commentary…and the scene is complete with the distinctive motifs of a bygone era – BPL colour television, the Doordarshan logo by the corner and the Sunday special Rangoli… ‘Saara Zamanaa’ still resonates…though there are innumerable melodies and intriguing eccentricities associated with the legend, this song will always remain one of my favourites…

Small makes it Big

Well..not exactly small as in minute…Nature has sprinkled beauty into everything, and it is for us to let it inside…

Day #2

I used to like the company of nature, to have solitary walks…along the road that led to my school…through the gates of Loyola College…the road lined by big trees create a beautiful canopy…the golden rays of the evening sun finds its way through…that calm, soothing atmosphere has a permanent residence in my heart…

Even though I was in touch with nature always, it took me a lot of time to appreciate…it was always there…it always is…The beauty of flowers, butterflies,rays of light filtering through the leaves and branches of trees…the colours that lie hidden in the midst of the smaller beings…

I am forever grateful to a wonderful bunch of photographers who inspired me…it is the spirit infused by them that led me to explore more…to actually see more…it is a humbling experience to realize that our existence in this world is part of a much larger picture…

It is the small, seemingly insignificant bits and pieces that add up to form the big puzzle…whether is it life or a jigsaw, the pieces need to fit together…in case of life, they come in all sizes, shapes and colours…let us fit them together to form a beautiful world around us 🙂

Three-O

I would rather kick the starter rather than push the ignition button 🙂

The engine sputters and dies down…starting trouble, I guess…

Getting off the mark with Project 30 and I have titled it ‘Three-O’.

Day #1

Erratic spurts of rainfall accompanied by strong winds have become common here in Trivandrum. Dark clouds gather around pretty quickly, and we look forward to a fairly good amount of rainfall…and it comes, and goes in a jiffy…

Our plans to go for a photo-walk went for a toss as the clouds threatened to let go in the morning…and I thought I would just walk around the house and click something from the garden…

As it was overcast, the light wasn’t all that great…but the sight of this bright yellow flower made up for that…

It was facing down, looking at the ground beneath, yet to wake up from the slumber…yet there was a beauty and elegance that I couldn’t help but admire…well, it would probably have sprang up if there was some sunshine!

Happy and excited to be here after a long gap…and hoping to turn over a new leaf..Revive an old one, rather :-)…